A couple of things to note:

1. I decided I should start to name my blog posts!
2. I fully intended to write this gratitude post in November.

That being said, I am so grateful (see what I did there??) that my job, family and life in general have kept me too busy to write. It’s funny though, I can actually FEEL it when I need to post. Like somehow my body says “ENOUGH! You need to let some stuff out!” So here goes:

You’ve heard the phrase “count your Blessings”? It sounds not only reasonable, but really really smart! Feeling low? “Count your Blessings!” Someone hurt your feelings? “Count your Blessings!” This practice has always been something I fully intended to do, but instead, often found that I focused on this during the holidays, but frankly, really took things for granted most of the other time. Now don’t get me wrong, I am SO VERY aware of how Blessed I am. 4 beautiful kids with 4 beautiful spouses/significant others AND 1 precious granddaughter. And that is just the beginning! Being Blessed was just the norm!

Now, I’ve had my share of rough stuff. Never knew my biological father, mom is an alcoholic, and to say things were “rough” growing up would be an understatement. Were it not for my grandparents, I am not quite sure what would have become of me. I had my first legitimate panic attack around 7 years of age, but can now recall feeling terrible anxiety much earlier than that.

But I met my husband, we raised the afore mentioned exquisite family, and those tough days were long behind me. And so began what felt a bit like a charmed life! All 4 kids have gone to college, and are happy, healthy, hard working, really incredible members of this world we live in! And they have all found love and know they are loved back, by us and many others!

Fast forward to this past summer. Suddenly diagnosed with cancer, gratitude becomes a real tough emotion to express. It’s like I was immediately FLUNG back to the days of cleaning up after my mom or being put in the tub with our dirty laundry, complete with laundry soap.  I wondered if somehow any or all of the bad things I may have said or done in my life had caused this! WHY ME has been a question I have asked more times than I can count.

But today, as I sit here typing this blog post, I am so absolutely certain that I did not cause this, I am a good person and I am so deeply and inexplicably grateful. For this life, my family, my friends, a beautiful home, a job I adore, my furbabies and grand-furbabies and yes, even this cancer. Sounds weird huh? But I firmly believe that it is going to make me better. A better person, mom, grandma and friend. A better everything. And I won’t just remind myself of how grateful I am for everything during the holidays, I now KNOW each and every day how grateful I am and why.

Each morning I wake up and before I begin my day, I say a prayer of thanks. Thanks for the day to be good, to do good and to help anyone who may need it.

I’ll beat this and be better for it! My story of survival will become a source of comfort and strength for others! And it is for this and so much more that I am so truly and completely grateful.

I am off to go do some laundry! Yup, I am even grateful for that! So for now, I will leave you with this quote:

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow!”
– Melody Beattie