It’s been a rough couple of days over here.

I could have NEVER, EVER imagined what this would feel like. The contrast between how awesome I feel physically post surgery and how I feel emotionally is downright startling at times!

I drink celery juice every morning to keep my digestive system on track, I drink a vegan protein shake on my way in to work and eat vegetarian meals and snacks. I stopped eating pretty much ALL sugar except the few grams found in my peanut butter or the occasional pasta sauce. I strive to get as close to 10,000 steps a day as possible. I am at a weight I would LOVE to maintain permanently. I don’t smoke and I drink in moderation. (perhaps even a bit less than “moderation”.) I don’t sleep great, but much better than before surgery. I am physically in the BEST shape ever! With the exception of that pesky kidney cancer.

My emotional state however is something resembling a cross between the Corkscrew at Michigan’s Adventure, and Cedar Points Raptor! Up, down and all around. The statistics get to me. I question every word out of the doctors mouths and wonder if they say positive things just to make me feel better and worry less. I panic thinking I’ll be in the percentage of patients with this who don’t do well and need to start remembering that I have EVERY reason to believe I will be in the percentage of those who do well. (see above list of amazing things I am doing for my body!)

So it’s been a couple of rough days. Keep up the prayers and positive thoughts, cheerleading etc….. team! It means the world to me and helps so much on the crappy days!

P.S. Courtney and I have named the lung nodules now. You recall that the kidney mass was named Felicia (#byefelicia!) The nodules are named after the acronym GTFO (think about it and my apologies for the implied bad language! LOL! Extra points if you figure it out!)
The four nodules shall be named:
Gertrude
Thelma
Frangelica
Olive

And the do need to G.T.F.O.

Here’s to bringing back my positive attitude! (Besides, a wise man told me I should allow myself to just feel not so great sometimes! As long as it’s not ALL of the time)

#ivegotthis!