It was a rough weekend……..

I think it hit me. This has all happened so quickly, I am Just over 4 weeks post kidney removal as a result of a pretty crappy cancer diagnosis and I had yet to really have a good cry over it. I mean Courtney and I shed some tears in those first couple of days and I had some tough early on teary conversations with my daughters in law. But I had yet to really let it fly! Well…… this past Sunday was the day. I had stayed up late Saturday night reading survivor stories and a large number of them spoke about how they were living with cancer, but they had been through SO MUCH to get there! Difficult treatments, recurrences and more. Yes, some had great experiences too, but for some reason, at 11pm, lying in bed, my husband fast asleep, I chose to focus on the negative. I became anxious, scared, sad, and whole host of other emotions. Sunday, for the first time I have been diagnosed, I shared the most raw fears I have had with my husband and I cried. A big sobbing cry. I think I somehow needed it. I needed to let it out. We talked and got to a place I think my husband and I both needed to get. A place of love and understanding, but most important, a place of calm positivity. My daughter helped me realize that in the face of this cancer diagnosis I have been Blessed with an amazing boss who connected me immediately with incredible doctors, I was able to get the mass (Felicia) removed quickly and completely! Yes, there are the lung nodules and yes, kidney cancer is an aggressive and sneaky little beast, but there are advancements in treatment every day! And I feel better than I have in about a year! No more cough, no more night sweats, way more energy and a tribe of friends & family to help see me through this tough time.

So yes, yesterday was hard. But today is better! And I am grateful for it. Grateful for so much. Grateful you are taking the time to read this blog and hear my journey! Grateful you are I am sure sending me positive thoughts and prayer as I type this. For that I thank you!

Today is an amazing day! I walked over 9,000 steps, a record since having Felicia removed. Tomorrow I plan to beat that record!

My favorite thing that people have said to me since being diagnosed (and they don’t even realize how very much it means to me!) is “You’ve Got This!” And I do!