First things first. As you all know, our son Hayden got married this past Saturday! Let me just tell you that the day was pretty much perfect! Our 11 month old granddaughter was all smiles going down the isle in the arms of one of Hayden’s very best friends, the bride looked STUNNING (the groom was pretty darn good looking too!), the food was amazing and the dancing was a blast! (I think I am still paying the price for overdoing it a bit!) At 3.5 weeks post surgery I am not sure all of the dancing I did was wise, but all in all I feel great!

I walked to the end of our 1/4 mile long road and back today and did some thinking. A co-worker and friend of mine lost her husband a few years ago to a glioblastoma brain tumor. At his funeral visitation I walked up to her and stumbled over my words. You know that feeling…… “Elise I……. I just……. so sorry…….” at which point she stopped me and looked me right in the eye and said “it’s ok, I know, words are hard”. She was so calm and comforting (wasn’t I there to comfort her!?) and her words stuck with me. Now I find myself in the interesting position of people stumbling over their words to me. “I heard about your little medical issue” (yes, someone said that). If I hear “how are you feeling” or “you look so great” one more time I may lose it. I mean I get it, these people all mean SO WELL! Their words are kind and well intentioned. Words are hard. No one really knows what to say. The most recent was a Facebook message that said “are you ok? I heard a rumor you may not be”. Yup, words are hard. And I am not saying anyone should stop trying! Kind friends reaching out are a true Blessing and even though it may not sound like it, I am grateful!

Sometimes words are not words. My very close friend Tammie lost her son to suicide nearly 2 years ago. My husband and I went to the visitation. I was in the lobby and she walked out of the room where the visitation would be held. She looked my way and we walked towards each other and just hugged. The worlds biggest hug, loaded with sobbing tears and no words at all. But so much was said in that moment. It was a hug packed with “I am so sorry this has happened”, “I don’t understand how this happened” and “I am here for you, day, night, anything in between, forever and always”.

Now I do have a handful of sweet friends who know me so well. They know that humor and light heartedness is just what I need. Those are my favorite messages! “How are you doing now that Felicia is gone?” All of this is to say that I get it and so do others going through tough stuff! WORDS ARE HARD! But find them, share them. Be smart about what you say. Telling someone with a cancer diagnosis about ALL the people you know with cancer is not super helpful. But again, WORDS ARE HARD! Sometimes a hug is the best way to express what you want to say.

So for those of you wondering, I am GOOD! I feel physically incredible and the mental/emotional stuff is coming along! I am still scared, but I am a fighter and am keeping my positive attitude! I am eating the stuff that is good for me and avoiding what is not. I walk and look forward to starting a running regimen soon! So if you are wondering what you can do, I’ll take prayers, good vibes, positive thoughts, your favorite healthy recipes and soon, a running partner!