I woke up a little extra anxious today. It is ENTIRELY possible that it was due in part to the fact that I, along with my daughter, had plans to go to my mother & father in laws home to pick my mother in law up to take her shopping. We do this about once a year to get her set on things she may need and to enjoy some time out of the house. She has been wheelchair bound for over 10 years now so it serves as a nice, small break for her and my father in law and we enjoy the time with her. But I was worried……… you see, I have not seen them since my husband shared my diagnosis with them a couple of days ago. I have never known my biological father and my mother is…..well……not in the picture. My in laws have been my parents for the last 22 years. They have loved and cared for me like their own for as long as I can remember. And I was REALLY nervous about how they would take things.

When I walked in, my father in law hugged me. Tighter than normal and simply said “I am going to say this once and then we are NOT going to dwell on this….. but I am SO SORRY you are going through this”. I think he said more, but I sort of blanked out some and found myself doing the now usual “It’s going to be okay, I am going to be fine”. It’s as though I can’t just take someone’s words of support without feeling I need to convince them I’ll be fine.

My mother in law did not say much and it actually made me feel better. We set out on our shopping journey and in the car while I was on the phone she talked to my daughter briefly about it. She was sweet and kind and very positive. She knows I am a strong woman. She is one of the strongest woman I know and has taught me well.

We visited our best friends, went to dinner and enjoyed some time at their new home. It was not our usual visit. There was obviously an “elephant in the room”. But they love us and we know that and we know the support, prayer and positive thoughts they are holding us up with. These are the kind of friends you want in your life. The kind that without saying a word make you feel and know they are there for you 100%.

Today I am a bit afraid. Today I will rely on the strength and support of others. Oh, and I am on the offer of kidney #8…… or is it 9?